I'm currently working out some difficult and interesting... let's call them issues... in my life. And while I've been working on these issues, I have started to let other things - things that used to seem so very, very important - take a backseat. I haven't volunteered to either help out or bring food to any ward activities lately. I've been declining offers to attend playgroups. I cancel appointments when I feel the least bit overwhelmed. And it probably goes without saying that I haven't gone out of my way to look for ways to serve others. In short, I've been focusing on me, me, me. That's not to say that I sit around all day doing whatever I feel like at the expense of my family members. It's just that I need to worry about me a little more right now - to think about how I'm feeling and how I'm doing and how I can learn to love me again. To be truthful, it's not exactly a picnic. Sometimes me is a real piece of work. And I can't very well put me in time out when I get tired of me. (Or have they perfected that whole cloning process while I've been busy?) Anyway, while I don't want this self-absorption to be a preview of the rest of my life, I think that for now, it's okay for to be selfish so that I can make my way back to sane.
Why am I telling you this? Well, because even though I've never even spoken to most of you, you're part of my story now. And maybe I'm a little part of yours. You make me laugh, you make me cry, you teach me all sorts of wonderful things.
I guess what I really want to say is... thanks. Thanks for writing and for teaching and for inspiring me, even when you didn't have the slightest clue that what you just typed might improve my whole day.
Blog on.
2 days ago
10 comments:
hugs.
I'm sorry you're having. . . issues. Love you! (that's a command to you, AND a declaration from me).
Blogging is wonderful for helping you think about others (by reading them) when you are having a hard time doing that in reality.
Ahhhh loving yourself. It's a hard thing to do in a world that says "No!" to it all. It's worth the effort, and if you can get back on your feet you will make that much more of a difference in the lives of everyone who surrounds you (and not just in service opportunities!).
Stick with it, your great!
Well, keep on focusing on YOU. Saying no is hard, but necessary. :)
Oh, by golly, your welcome! ;) We are all entitled to a little selfishness every once in a while.
Wow. I'm having a very similar crisis in my life, and you actually seem to be handling it better than I am. :)
I love blogging for the same reasons. I feel like I am such a better person for the words of so many women I've never met, but whom I love dearly. You included.
No, cloning is not there yet, which is a good thing, can't imagine keeping my self in time out, one minute per year...yikes.
You have my permission to be self absorbed, for now.
and I had no clue :)
Is this part of learning to be a slob like me??? lol...I'm glad you are doing this for you. I think it's great. You do need that me time. All of us have to take a step back sometimes to see where the heck we are. Good job for noticing :)
Thanks for the swim by the way. I think I might be of the few people that you actually see in real life, face to face. So talking to me is COOL :) haha. Yes you put me on cloud 9 more than you think. Let me know when you want to run away....lol. I don't mind.
I'm glad for you that you're taking this time for yourself. Everyone needs to do that...and not everyone recognizes that need. Good luck---and I hope it is a good experience.
Do what you gotta do, but I notice when you're not around.
This is something that men don't really obsess about. Maybe it's because we are so easily distracted by shiny things (ala. Barb).
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